You've been through it before. You go for a job interview, you're hired for the position, and after being on your job for a while you make a few friends and then the personal questions begin.
"So where do you live? Do you have any kids? I see you're wearing a ring are you married?"
"So where do you live? Do you have any kids? I see you're wearing a ring are you married?"
When you admit to being in a relationship, you begin paying attention to how you mention your partner -- using neutral words at all times.
Instead of saying my girl, wife, boyfriend, husband, he, or she, you might say my fiance or my spouse, this way your co-worker can't tell the sex of your partner.
If a co-worker calls your home and your partner answers the phone, you might further camouflage your status by saying, "Oh that was my (friend, sister, or brother) that answered." It can really get ridiculous!
Instead of saying my girl, wife, boyfriend, husband, he, or she, you might say my fiance or my spouse, this way your co-worker can't tell the sex of your partner.
If a co-worker calls your home and your partner answers the phone, you might further camouflage your status by saying, "Oh that was my (friend, sister, or brother) that answered." It can really get ridiculous!
The gay and lesbian world of secrecy is common, due to fear that nice treatment from co-workers might end if found out.
Even if you've known a co-worker for a few months and feel comfortable enough explaining your personal background, it's still a risk you're taking when you completely open up.
If you've made a connection with a co-worker over a period of time and if you deem them worthy of your secrets -- which is a privilege, should they turn their back on you then they weren't genuine from the start. So you shouldn't feel bad at all, it's them that should feel bad for being prejudice.
Even if you've known a co-worker for a few months and feel comfortable enough explaining your personal background, it's still a risk you're taking when you completely open up.
If you've made a connection with a co-worker over a period of time and if you deem them worthy of your secrets -- which is a privilege, should they turn their back on you then they weren't genuine from the start. So you shouldn't feel bad at all, it's them that should feel bad for being prejudice.
I feel people respect you more when you're honest and I say all this to say, there is never a good time or bad time to be honest. All you can do is be real with yourself and others, and hope for the best in all situations.
Everything happens for a reason, so should you be fired from a job for being honest about your relationship, then it probably wasn't safe for you to be in that environment anyway.
And should you lose a friend for being honest, then they weren't a friend to begin with. It's their loss and your load was made lighter, when they made their exit from your life.
So keep your head up knowing you're a good person with a good heart, and someday, somewhere, somebody, will recognize it!
2009 LA 
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